Wednesday, 18 August 2010


Unfortunately, the integration of the email address function into Myspace leads to some rather interesting occurrences that don't quite make it into the Spam folder despite all attempts to prevent online crime being prevalent within its system.
Here's an email trail which demonstrates the Great British tradition of "if it sounds too good to be true, it normally is".
(Being an email trail, you sort of have to read it from the bottom up for it to make sense.)
Using my own email address instead of the World Goth Day account was so that I could bring it outside of the work-restricted internet and construct a meaningful response in my own time (c/o the office of course).
At the time of posting this blog, I'm still awaiting a reply. I doubt I'll get one...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Cruel Brit@nnia <>
Date: 18 Aug 2010 10:09

Hi Mr. Larry,
In my rush to respond to you at the very thought of being able to roll around on my bed in a blanket of used ten pound notes like they occasionally do in tired old '70's bank job flicks, a flash of common sense annoyingly took me & compelled me to stop in my tracks to send you over just a couple of pointers.
(1) The last time I looked, and to be fair I haven't travelled to London an awful lot recently, the unit of currency in our glorious capital was to the best of my knowledge the Great British Pound, exactly the same as the rest of the country. You'll find that this sort of pattern is followed in several other countries, if not all of them.
Being from London yourself as your address suggests, you might have noticed this too.
Consequently, I'm a little curious as to why I might have been sent the somewhat automated response below asking for details in a manner befitting an American application form for use of the World Goth Day logo in an advertisment for Blackberry on a poster in Luton station, or whatever the location you initially stated was.
(2) I'm hardly going to find use for, or ever want an agent who lives in a different country to me, or for that matter be insane enough to merrily send vast quantities of cash to one on the basis that something that took me an evening to create in Photoshop would be used to advertise a mobile telephone.
Don't get me wrong. I like the Blackberry. I beleive that the co-founder of World Goth Day whom I've BCC'd into this email regularly likes to use his to have a wee chuckle at emails such as this one (who says us goths have no sense of humour?). An image which I have given to the entire world to use how it likes to promote World Goth Day can, as long as I'm paid for it, be used to promote a cool gadget, because if any finanical gain is to be made from the logo, it should be made by the guy who created it.
You came to me via Myspace to ask permission to use the WGD logo in a Blackberry advertisment.
That's absolutely cool by me. It's about time I earned a bit of cash from my dabblings in graphic design. Just send me a cheque or better still, get Blackberry to send me a handset (the new Torch looks fantastic) & email me a photo of the poster in all its glory in Luton station to stick on Myspace before some jobless hoodie scrawls a huge Victorian moustache on it or a big cock going into its mouth or something (to my knowledge, that's what tends to happen to great works of art mounted on the walls of any public area).
But never, ever ask me to sign a 'legal' contract or send vast sums of money to an invisible agent.
It would have been quicker to just have sent an email with the word 'SCAM' in it & click 'send'.
However, if by any chance you're actually legitimately asking permission to use the World Goth Day logo, do accept my apologies for wanting to press the matter a little further. All you need to do is follow what I stated above and I'll be happy.
Understandably, I don't get a lot of emails asking me to send money to the People's Republic of Americania. They tend to come from the family of a recently deceased rich relative I didn't know about in Nigeria, the Euro Lottery office in Holland or wherever and land in my spam folder.
Actually, totally ignore my request details for a Blackberry.
If you don't mind, can you just pay me with a nice bottle of Zinfandel, as it seems that you happen to share the same address as AdVintage Wines, whom I've also BCC'd into this email just to let them know that someone is using their address as a business contact? I'm sure they're aware of this, but you never know, do you?
Have a wonderful day, I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards,
DJ Cruel Britannia.

On 18/08/2010, BLACKBERRY BILLBOARD ADVERT. <> wrote:

We quite appreciate your swift response concerning the modeling contract.Your profile picture has been accepted by the agency, "DREAM MODEL AGENCY" as one of the preferred pictures for the BLACKBERRY
Billboard advert @ Heathrow  Airport London, We don't discriminate sizes or shapes of individual models, we just acknowledge gorgeous pictures and use it for commercials. The financier will dispatch payment to you by courier service.

You will receive a Cheque or Money order (
$3,000) as payment for the billboard contract. You'll also be sent an agreement Form M20 via email. When you receive payment you will take out the 20% of the total sum for your gorgeous pictures that is being used, after which you proceed to sending the balance over to your appointed agent  for Legal Documentation of the deal. This payment will also be used as "sign-up fee" with the agent. I'll be waiting your urgent response with the following information:








Hope to read from you soon.

Mr Larry.
Financier:Dream model agency. London
 58 Buckleigh Avenue, Merton Park
London SW20 9JZ

> Subject: World Goth Day logo
> From:
> Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2010 07:00:28 +0100
> To:
> Hi,
> Further to the correspondence initiated by your email regarding the use of the World Goth Day logo in a Blackberry advertisement, as the designer of the logo I give you permission to use the design pending further details in what context you wish to use it, and any other information regarding your offer to pay for its use.
> DJ Cruel Britannia
> Co-Founder,
> World Goth Day.

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