Wednesday, 7 December 2011
Obviously I'm not just wiping them from history or anything so terminal. They'll be locked away in a little safe deep in the bowels of Fadeout Towers and guarded by Molly, the resident feral Siberian house-tiger. And if you fancy your chances of getting past her, please let me know who I should send the flowers & sympathy card to...
Friday, 2 December 2011
On November 30th, a large proportion of the public sector went on strike in protest of the government's changes in their pension scheme. I won't go into the already well-documented technicalities of it; that's really not the point of this blog.
On the same day, Jeremy Clarkson was due to appear on the live, prime-time, three-legged donkey that is 'The One Show' on BBC1 to plug some DVD or other which will be going on sale at Christmas. I've no idea what it's about, but it probably involves cars & saying out loud what some people only think quietly to themselves, normally in a quite non-politically correct manner. This is what he does year after tired, formulaic year, much like a drunk uncle at the family Christmas party once the only booze left in sight is what mouthfuls that people have abandoned in their glasses on the buffet table next to the stale quiche.
Bearing in mind Clarkson's already proven track record for foot-to-mouth related comments, The One Show presenters (no idea what their names are, which speaks volumes about the show) asked his views of the public sector strike.
Probably quite predictably, he said:
"I'd have them all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families. I mean, how dare they go on strike when they've got these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed while the rest of us have to work for a living?"
Now, bearing in mind his idea of having to 'work for a living' involves driving around in expensive cars and commenting on them in print, this wasn't going to come across well, even if he was renowned as the UK's most productive coal miner, midwife and part time lion tamer. Predictably again, around 4000 complaints lit up the BBC's phones like petrol had been poured on them and ignited by Clarkson's smouldering cigar stub being tossed out of his car window as he left the studio.
The union body Unison wanted to see him hung from the highest tree by his gonads for these understandably offensive comments, to have him sacked from the BBC and were actively consulting legal advice on how to have this outspoken, offensive character out on his arse at the soonest convenience. In short, it was going off like a good 'un in the media; news websites headlined with it, social networks were coated in layers of thick witch-huntery, and I watched all its activity with a curious eye...
Yesterday I undertook an act remotely akin to placing my testicles on a table already occupied by a precariously stacked pile of housebricks. The act? Speaking my mind out loud. Or 'lighting the blue touchpaper and standing well back'. Either way, it was going to be either of the two.
Based on the previous evening's events, I proposed the following three theories on Twitter, having not seen them proposed anywhere else online at the time (I was at work and had to be seen as actually 'doing' some work-that's my excuse anyway):
1. "The One Show producers knew what they were doing last night. No other explanation for putting Clarkson on a dying format prime time show."
2. "J. Clarkson=21st Century Alf Garnett. A 'fictional' character who no more believes what he says on screen than Warren Mitchell."
3. "Sorry Unison; I imagine your members would like to see you spend their money on s'thing more practical than a tv witch hunt. Move on."
My justifications for the above comments are as follows:
1. The One Show is a renowned failure in programming for the BBC which despite their best efforts, ought to be taken out side and sh...oooh, better not, eh?
Anyway, for a prime-time current affairs show, it's haemorrhaging viewer numbers horribly and desperately requires something to help boost its ratings. Producers probably sit dejectedly round a table every week, frustratedly discussing what to do to inject some interest, like changes in presenters, more interesting features. Maybe even the rabid spoutings of a right wing geriatr...-hang on. I know EXACTLY where we can get hold of one! AND he's got a DVD coming out! That's the perfect excuse-get Jeremy on the blower right now!
2. It is quite possible that 'Jeremy Clarkson at home' might not actually resemble 'Jeremy Clarkson on the telly'. It's just a theory I'm throwing out to you here. It's been known to happen, and I don't believe that anyone can be that hot-headed & bloody-minded full time without actually dying of a self-induced heart attack before they reach 50 years old. Of course, if Clarkson DOES believe what he said on screen, then off to the lions with him deservedly, but I have a theory, albeit just 'a hunch', that his comments were just for the camera and the benefit of the programme producer's wishes for a brief peak in ratings. I also equate him to Alf Garnett, a popular BBC sitcom character played by Warren Mitchell. You can read about Alf, and draw your own conclusions to my theory here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alf_Garnett (I'm sorry it's a Wiki page but I can't find a better reference anywhere else).
3. Kind of self explanatory. I'm not a union member but if I was, I'd want my fee to be put to good use as a basic requirement of my membership. I don't see a pricey over-reaction by someone who is supposed to represent me as being 'responsible expenditure'.
As normal, my postings were mostly met with thin air, as I would have expected at any other time. Even when I'm at my most ranty, I can muster little more than a witty one liner from my usual suspects, and that's normally good enough for me. However, I was interested in the reaction of one person, who within five minutes or less, encapsulated every bad quality contained within the stereotype of 'hard-left rabid keyboard warrior with very little positive to say about anything'.
Cue Roger O'Donnell, a Twitter follower and probably better known as keyboardist for The Cure.
He wrote; "@CruelBritannia Stop trvialising it... You are becoming part of the problem. His attitudes are ingrained into the mindless masses who follow".
Now, I'd have replied to Roger, but by the time I'd drafted him a message to engage in some debate about the subject and discuss my theory, he'd not only unfollowed me, but to ensure I was not able to 'have a voice on the subject', he also blocked me! On Twitter, and everything!!!
Needless to say, I was heart-wrenchingly unphased beyond belief. So I scratched my bum a bit, then got a cup of tea from the machine & read a copy of The Metro.
Now, if you know Roger at all or read his tweets, you'll know that he can be a little hot-headed himself, especially when it comes to the subject of bankers, online piracy and anything at all to do with pollitics. I'd understand anyone 'unfollowing' me on Twitter due to the sheer amount of rubbish I spout on a daily basis, but for him to feel he needed to 'block' me as though I were likely to be camping outside his house, waiting to attack him with a pointy wooden stick or something seemed a bit harsh.
Or you could read it that he spat his dummy out & didn't want to see anyone else's theory. Defying this rule would result in a blocking and while he's at it, he's got his fingers in his ears, singing "La la la la la I can't hear yooou!" very loudly. Apparently I'm 'taking one for Team Clarkson' in the eyes of a musican who's band charges £150 per ticket for a gig.
I think not.
I think I'm injecting some much needed perspective into the matter. It would be interesting to see what Roger's reaction would have been if Jeremy Clarkson had said "Margaret Thatcher should be taken outside and executed in front of her family". As I've already stated on Twitter, I have no time for close-minded people who find what I post offensive to them. Followers are free to come and go, that is the good thing about Twitter. The very people who choose to hang around and read my often absurd ramblings are the sort of people I would rather be associated with; open minded, in full possession of a sense of humour and when required, diagnosed with some degree of clinical insanity.
At the end of the day, nobody can entirely excuse Clarkson's comments. He was a total idiot (not for the first time) on telly, and has predictably, apologised for his monumental gaffe on the front of every British paper gracing tables around the country. This goes some way to proving my theory that he no more believes what he says on screen than Warren Mitchell believed when playing Alf Garnett. Or if he does believe it, lacks the stones to back up his comments with any further debate.
But whatever the truth be, the world will still keep turning. Just the way I like it.
Right, I need to go off and keep the fire going with something; it's bloody cold for December. Where are my Cure Albums? ;-)
Sunday, 18 September 2011
Saturday, 10 September 2011
With that I bring you Cruel Britannia's Haunted Wardrobe; an hour of great tunes from the aforementioned genres, with a little more 'spook' in the mix. I hope it goes down well with you.
September's show playlist looks an awful lot like this:
Sex Gang Children-Beasts
Fear Cult-If You're Watching
Hatesex-A Rose Without Eyes
The Cure-Fascination Street
Death In June-Break The Black Ice
Killing Joke-The Raven King
Kooper Kain-You Had It Coming
Garden Of Delight-Spirit Lovers
Death Party UK-She's So Hot
Monday, 15 August 2011
This weekend I finished off the first remix I've ever done since 2007 for South African Gothic rockers Ankst.
It's for a track called 'Natal' from their forthcoming EP 'Epitaph'. It'll join several other remixes done by various artists, and as yet I have no idea who else is joining in on the project, so stay tuned to see what else the remix will be rubbing shoulders with on the release.
The last one I worked on was 'All You Used To Be' by The Faces Of Sarah. Since then, I had done some pre-production mixing of tracks for Kidderminster based industrial metal outfit Oak, due to them liking what I did for their first release 'Torn'. It turned out that I taught them a few things mix-wise, and was called into their studio for further guidance. Not bad, considering I know bugger all regarding the technical aspects, and rely solely on what my ears have heard over the decades.
I'm currently waiting on the remix stems for a track by US Deathrock legends Kommunity FK after frontman Patrik asked for me to contribute a remix. Once again, watch this space for details.
During a period when I'm beginning to look back on my roots as a musician rather than solely be a DJ & radio presenter, this is a nice segue into what hopefully might be a return to the stage one more time before I fall off my perch...
Saturday, 16 July 2011
SLEAZE ON TOAST @ THE HAYGATE, TELFORD 15TH JULY 2011
New Order-Blue Monday
Art Of Noise-Close To The Edit
Landscape-Einstein A Go Go
Magazine-The Light Pours Out Of Me
Bill Nelson-Do You Dream In Colour
Duran Duran-Friends Of Mine
Echo & The Bunnymen-Back Of Love
Gene Loves Jezebel-Desire
The Cure-A Forest
Clan Of Xymox-A Day
March Violets-Snake Dance
Cult-She Sells Sanctuary
Killing Joke-Love Like Blood
Sisters Of Mercy-This Corrosion
Fields Of The Nephilim-Moonchild
Siouxsie & The Banshees-Spellbound
Zodiac Mindwarp & the Love Reaction-Prime Mover
Tenpole Tudor-Swords Of A Thousand Men
Bauhaus-Kick In The Eye
All About Eve-Every Angel
Wah!-The Story Of The Blues
Psychedelic Furs-Love My Way
New Order-Everything's Gone Green
Nine Inch Nails-Head Like A Hole
Ministry-Jesus Built My Hotrod
Iggy Pop-Lust For Life
The Normal-Warm Leatherette
Cardiacs-Is This The Life?
The Cult-Go West
Sisters Of Mercy-Temple Of Love
Siouxsie & The Banshees-Cities In Dust
New Model Army-Vagabonds
Julian Cope-World Shut Your Mouth
Joy Division-She's Lost Control
Rosetta Stone-Adrenaline (Hard Mix)
Soft Cell-Sex Dwarf
Bauhaus-Bela Lugosi's Dead
Depeche Mode-People Are People
Gary Numan-We Are Glass
The Cure-In Between Days
New Model Army-225
Human League-The Lebanon
Smiths-This Charming Man
Pigbag-Papa's Got A Brand New Pigbag
Visage-Fade To Grey
Siouxsie & the Banshees-Spellbound
Rob Dougan-Clubbed To Death (Kurayamino Variation)
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
Friday, 20 May 2011
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
Friday, 15 April 2011
Monday, 4 April 2011
To take full advantage of the latter, I knew I had to do what is almost expected of me; fill the entire car with CD's to listen to. Not quite like some people who have them spilling out of every crevice & compartment that the car possesses, but definitely enough to temporarily quell my insanely short musical attention span.
Monday, 14 February 2011
Friday, 11 February 2011
Thursday, 10 February 2011
(1) The single version of 'Money' is a convenient 2 minutes and 32 seconds in length, whereas the album version is a whopping 5 minutes and 52 seconds long.
(2) The latter end 3 minutes and 20 seconds of the album version is not only longer than the single edit by nearly a minute, but reduces into a mish mash of out-of-tune dub basslines & general monkeying about with the echo effects, and not in a cool 'Bela Lugosi's Dead' kind of way either.
(3) I'm still going to be quite annoyed about the 3 minutes and 20 seconds of my life that I'll never get back when I go to bed tonight.
The rest of the album was shit too.
Friday, 28 January 2011
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
From Mick Karn's official homepage:
"Mick finally lost his battle with cancer and passed away peacefully at 4.30pm today, 4th January 2011 at home in Chelsea, London. He was surrounded by his family and friends and will be deeply missed by all."